Return To The Kitchen

Back on Tuesday I posted about kitchen sinks being scientists from another dimension studying us humans by observing us in the kitchen.

Porcelain Scientists With Metal Helpers


I got an e-mail saying I should have included a certain Zappa song/video along with that post.

That made me frown because I had considered including that very Zappa song/video on Tuesday but decided against it.

It was one of those nights—Tuesday, I mean—when I wished I had an editorial board to talk over decisions with.

I actually did try to think it through rather than just impulsively choose to do one thing or the other.

The basic quandary was my post was about kitchens being weird. Well, Zappa fans know—and I’ve posted about Zappa quite a bit so I am a Zappa fan—Zappa wrote a cool non-rap rap song called, “The Dangerous Kitchen.”

I wanted to include the song with my Tuesday post because it’s another example of someone trying to squeeze entertainment value out of their kitchen. But it’s about the kitchen being something like dangerous, not weird in a science fiction sort of way.

Also it’s been a long time since I put up a video of myself making music — Quasi Una Zombie Fantasia — so I was trying to hold back on posting videos of other people doing music until I can catch up and do some more of my own.

So I gave it a lot of thought and, eventually, decided not to include the Zappa song with my Tuesday post.

Then—of course!—just hours later I get an e-mail and it’s someone wondering if I knew about the Zappa song.

Uh, yeah!

So I’m putting up the Zappa song today.

I’m working on getting more of my own music up here. I was a little pissed off (and I’ve been pissed off for seven months, really) that the last time I put up a video of myself singing and playing somebody commented “WTF was that?” but that was the only mean comment I’ve ever gotten on the blog in four years so fuck them.

I will have a lot of new music from myself soon, but I’m making many, many changes to how I do things around here—especially in the video/sound department—so it will be a while yet before I get anything up.


I like this Zappa song very much. He did a lot of stuff like this—odd interactions of voice and instruments. If you listen to the bass, it is mimicking his vocals very closely. It’s pretty cool stuff. I don’t remember the production notes from the album but Zappa often performed this live so it’s not just a bass line over-dubbed onto a vocal track—although it may have started that way. More so than anyone I can think of the studio was an instrument for Zappa. At some point, though, Zappa and his bass player must have actually rehearsed this and gotten everything grooved for their live performances. (Or possibly it’s not the bass player, but rather it’s Steve Vai ‘talk-playing’ on his guitar on an over-dub. I don’t remember.)

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The Occult Technology Of Lost Songs