INTERIOR, SUZY’S BATHROOM – NIGHT
SUZY’S in her pajamas. She’s gargling.
She bends out of frame to spit into the sink,
straightens up and runs water for a second.
Suzy turns to face the camera.
Okay, today we learned that indiscriminate use
of antibiotics can cause big problems.
The antibiotics will kill the target germs but
certain strains of germs will survive.
Without competition from the dead germs
the survivor germs will grow into super-colonies.
Since antibiotics don’t kill these winner germs
you are stuck with them. Whatever they do to you.
Yuck. But of course things are never
as simple as the doctors-turned-writers
make them out to be. Because, hey,
I’ve been gargling with this stuff –
Suzy holds up a bottle of Listerine.
– for like ten years now. Everyone knows
this stuff kills germs that can cause bad breath.
Well if this whole drug-resistant bacteria dynamic
were true you’d expect my mouth to be full
of super-colonies of mutant bad breath germs.
But it’s not. Look!
Suzy opens her mouth wide. The camera
zooms into the blackness, then zooms out.
See? No monster germs. My mouth is so clean
you could sit down in there and eat a meal.
And some people have . . . So enjoy
better living through chemistry but
think about things. Bye-bye! I’ll see you
next time they turn on the camera!
FADE TO WHITE
END CREDITS AND END THEME