Writers Versus Painters By The Perfume River

A few days ago I humped down to the Perfume River again to watch “Full Metal Jacket” with some people I hadn’t talked to for a long time. While we were nailing our names into the pages of history in an all-night restaurant a woman artist said, “I love the movie but it always bugged me that Kubrick called it ‘Full Metal Jacket.’ I mean it’s such a non sequitur. Why not call it ‘War’ or ‘Vietnam’ or something that it’s actually about?”

I said, “It’s called ‘Full Metal Jacket’ because that’s the whole theme of the movie. The movie’s about the endless insanity life throws at people and the movie depicts two particular ways of dealing with the insanity, both ways involving full-metal jacket bullets. Private Pyle deals with the insanity thrown at him by putting a full-metal jacket bullet into his head when he shoots himself. Private Joker deals with the insanity thrown at him by, so to speak, putting a full-metal jacket around his head, metaphorically, keeping out everything, keeping himself from fragmenting, and that’s why he’s able to shoot the sniper point blank at the end without it getting to him.”

Becky said, “Oh, that’s good. I never thought of that. And that makes sense. How come this fucking movie has been out for like twenty years and no one’s ever told me that before?”

I said, “Maybe you should hang out with writers more often instead of these good-for-nothing painters.”

Ian and Nathan and Sam all threw packets of crackers at me and—even though they were throwing just from across the table—all three missed without me even ducking.

“Oh my God,” Nathan said, “we are good for nothing.”

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War, Huh, Good God, Y’All

Lindsay Lohan And Rupert Sheldrake


Perfume River

“In the autumn, flowers from orchards upriver from Huế
fall into the water, giving the river a perfume-like aroma.”