Wednesday, July 22, 2009

War, Huh, Good God, Y’All

Ummm . . .

Last night I was humping down to the Perfume River nailing my name into the pages of history by leaving a comment at the Wonkette when I accidently typed out the word “tonight” and had to correct myself and type it “2nite.”

A couple nights back I bumped into the two coolest and sexiest twenty year old girls I know. I was walking into a donut shop and they were walking out. The encounter lasted a full twenty seconds or so and we said hi but if I’m ever going to stretch out those moments into actually sitting down and eating donuts with them then when I leave comments on blogs I have to type the comments as cool as I can.

Every minute I’m away from this keyboard I get weaker. And every minute everyone else in the world squats in front of a screen reading the blogs they get stronger. Each time I get up for a Red Bull and look around the kitchen the walls move in a little tighter. Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission and for my sins they brought me a donut shop, brought it up to me like room service.

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The Wonkette

Full Metal Jacket

Apocalypse Now

Dunkin’ Donuts

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