Mischa: A House That Can’t Be Fixed

Girl don’t you know every time I see you smiling
It hurts so bad ’cause when I see you I start crying
I try everything to stop but there’s no denying
That falling in love with you girl is just like dying

Monkees, “Words”

Mischa Barton’s house is for sale again.

She listed it before, got no buyers,
so she found a new real estate agent
who raised the price and listed it again.

A real estate woman I know just laughed—
“To say ‘asking price’ you have to say ‘ass.’”

The home does have a pool. I know I can’t
fix the world. Nobody can save Mischa.
But if someday I’m going to be found
floating face down in a Hollywood pool
the ex-swimming pool of Mischa Barton
has a wonderfully slapstick echo.

I like The Doors but I have never been
psychedelic. I’m the Monkees. Pretend.

Is Mischa Barton an L.A. woman?
Isn’t she just a pretend lost angel?

I don’t know if I’d spend eight million bucks
for a house just because it can’t be fixed.

Why else would anyone buy Mischa’s house?

I don’t know if I’d spend eight million bucks
for a house just because it can’t be fixed.

If they say I never thought about it
You know they are a liar. — I’ll give her that.

















A Monkees note: Monkees fans may notice in this video
they are all pretending to play the wrong instruments. According
to Monkees legend this is how the boys actually thought the ‘band’
should have been constructed. But TV people assigned
the instruments differently. This video is the boys pretending
to do things the way they wanted. This video is fake pretend.

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The Real Estalker — UPDATE: Mischa Barton




Mischa: Sexy Things About Physics


Dead Monkeys. Swimming Pools. Movie Stars.