Big Chair And Three Women: (1) Three Women

A local news director from Phoenix
told all his ground crews to get reactions
from local residents about the chair.

One of the crew from a traffic copter
reported three women in bikinis
had been out on their condo balcony
all morning. He passed along the address.
The ground crew on its way to interview
the three bikini-clad women got news
that police had leaked the first 911 call
about the chair and the caller’s address.
The first 911 call in fact had come
from the same address where the three women
had spent all morning in their bikinis.

“It’s bizarre,” Toni said, smiling, glancing
from the reporter to the camera.
“The three of us are between jobs,” she said.
“We sleep late most often. But this morning
I had to pee so I got up to go.
Through the window I saw the sun shining
on something high, like the mountains, but close.
Like right outside. And from the balcony
I could see it out there in the desert.
The big chair. The sun shining on the chair.”

“Toni woke us all up,” Felicia said.
“We couldn’t believe it. We didn’t know
what to think. One of us said, well, maybe
it’s like one of those science kind of things.
You know, like a hologram or something.
Where you see it but it’s not really there.
I mean, what else could it be? It’s a chair
but a chair that’s as big as a mountain.”

Melissa said, “It’s a big fucking chair.”

The local stations had been running live
and the reporter pulled the microphone
away from Melissa. Many networks
were running on delay but were busy
arranging interviews with scientists
and engineers so they didn’t manage
to dump or bleep out Melissa’s f-bomb.

The local reporter told Melissa
they were broadcasting live to the whole world.

Melissa blushed. She said, “I’m so sorry.
My bad. It’s just that it’s the biggest chair
we’ve ever seen. Or even heard about.”

Toni said, “That’s the biggest anything
any of us has seen or heard about.”

Felicia and Melissa both nodded.


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Big Chair And Three Women: (2) Big Chair