Leptons, Quarks, Gauge Bosons And Britney Spears

If Britney Spears were a bar of soap
she would have broken in half by now.
We’d have been forced to buy a new bar.

But Britney Spears is a bar of soap
in a complex, string theory cosmos
and when she breaks in half we observe
the two halves are just different edges—
imaginary edges at that—
of a bar of soap manifesting
itself across many dimensions
and the imaginary edges
are just theoretical constructs,
mathematical explorations
of a conceptual fantasy
no different than, say, imagining
a Britney-Beethoven love affair.

Britney Spears will never break in half
just as she’ll never kiss Beethoven.

I strongly suspect that when results
come from the Large Hadron Collider
they’ll confirm my shower experiments
and this interpretation of them.