Dr. Phil, Michael Vick And Hillary Clinton

Dr. Phil, Michael Vick and Hillary Clinton were on a plane. Somewhere over the ocean, the port engine sputtered and died. The starboard engine sputtered, but then steadied on at half power. The plane started to lose altitude!

Dr. Phil jumped up and started running around the cabin. He got everyone to stand up and got them started disconnecting the seats from the floor. “The plane’s going down,” Dr. Phil said, “because it’s too heavy for one engine. We have to lighten the load. We can stand. We don’t need the seats. We can get rid of all these seats!” He opened the cabin door and threw out all the passenger seats they’d disconnected.

But the plane was still losing altitude! The plane was still too heavy!

Michael Vick jumped up and ran to the back of the plane. He opened an emergency hatch into the cargo compartment and slid open the cargo doors. He began throwing off pet carriers full of barking pit bulls. “It’s a shame they all have to die,” Michael Vick said, “but I’ve repented from my wicked ways. I don’t need them any more.”

But the plane was still too heavy!

Hillary Clinton jumped up and ran to the front of the plane. She knocked out the pilot and co-pilot and threw the men off the plane. Hillary said, “We don’t need those two guys. I know my way around a cockpit!”

And they all lived happily ever after.