Thursday, November 17, 2011

Clean Shaven And Ready For Movie Talk



This morning I was a little late getting the day started, so instead of shaving and then showering I combined the two and shaved in the shower.

It happens now and then. I’ve known people who always shave in the shower. The theory is the hot water and steam open pores and extend hairs so when you shave the razor gets at the very bottom of the hair and you get the very closest shave possible.

I usually shave first. My hair grows so fast it hardly matters how close my morning shave is. Four hours into the day I always look like I’m starting to change into a werewolf.

So because I was late today I shaved in the shower and since I don’t have a shower mirror when I shave in the shower it’s all done by touch. Later, after I dry off and dress I have to look in a mirror and check the hairline by my ears to make sure the left looks reasonably level with the right. Sometimes it looks like I shaved while standing on the side of a hill. Then I have to spend a final moment with the razor making my left hairline match my right.

After shaving in the shower today and working just by touch my left hairline and my right hairline matched almost exactly.

This is the kind of thing that make me happy.


*

Stuff like this makes me happy, too:


“This is November,” I said. I pointed. “You’re still wearing pumpkin-colored pajamas.”

“What color pajamas should I wear?” she asked.

“Well, it’s Thanksgiving,” I said. “You should be wearing turkey-colored pajamas.”

“What color is that?” she asked. “What color are turkeys?”

“I think turkeys would be blue,” I said.

“Why would turkeys be blue?” she asked.

“They’re blue because they’re sad,” I said. “They know they only have a couple of weeks to live.”

She grimaced. It’s a face I’ve seen before. She shook her head. “I can’t believe I walked into that,” she said.

“No, it’s great!” I said. “It’s banter. It’s like in movies. We were exchanging banter. We’re like movie stars. People in movies say stuff like that, then the scene ends.






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Why Don’t Turkeys Wear Bras?





















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