Why Don’t Turkeys Wear Bras?

10. Straps leave tan lines on their feathers

9. Turkeys are sluts

8. They say if Britney Spears doesn’t have to wear panties then they don’t have to wear bras

7. They always blow their fashion budget on earrings and handbags

6. Turkeys are terrified of hook-and-eye closures and their wings are too stubby to reach front hooks

5. They can never remember what first base, second base and third base mean anyway

4. They don’t have sinks to wash fine hand washables in

3. Transvestite roosters always steal everything from turkeys’ lingerie drawers

2. If they don’t wear bras then weasels can’t snap their bra straps

1. The answer is Victoria’s real Secret and she’ll kill me if I tell