Britney Spears: Death By Dinosaur

If Britney Spears were booked to perform

at the refurbished and reopened

Jurassic Park, how would she get killed?


Stepped on by apatosaurs feeding?

Impaled on a stegosaurus tail?

Knocked down, nibbled to death by compys?

Eviscerated by a raptor?

Charged, run through, by a triceratops?

Torn up, fed to pterodactyl chicks?

Chomped and swallowed whole by a T-rex?


Or would she pass out drunk in her room,

gag on her back, drown in her vomit

leaving her publicist to leak out

a gruesome horror story about

death by dinosaur although details

would be few and frustratingly vague

and strangely no lawsuits would be filed . . .