Professor Martel’s Startling Conclusion (3 of 10)

T H R E E


Expression. Thought.
Expression as opposed to thought. Expression

in conjunction with thought.
Expression of thought. The spark of thought.

This instigator. This pattern
of patterns. This explosion

into order. This accumulation
of repeated things.

Professor Martel’s research
concerned boundaries and deep thought.

And the expression of that thought.
Words. Sentences. Paragraphs.

Words, sentences and paragraphs
ordered by conceptual

abstractions, exclusions,
definitions, creations. And love

of self and species and existence.
And of the deeper thing

he felt embracing him
and box-stepping him to conclusions.

He printed carefully
and very readably. Lovingly.

He read, sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly, and picked books to read

with days of forethought
and encompassing consideration.

Now and then
he thought of the librarian with the always

uneven skirt. And of possible
expressions for those thoughts.

But his love remained
with his more consuming thoughts. He resigned

these just distracting thoughts
to less than distracting expressions.

*

I couldn’t resolve,
or successfully and meaningfully

abstract, the issue of contradictions.
I needed, my thoughts

required, some kind of weird calculus
for juggling conflicts.

Some kind of infinite,
multi-ported barometer of

incidental pressures.
I saw two avenues of approach:

Existence, as such, and the concrete
and concretes around me;

Me, my self, this thin compendium
of time and perceptions.

Rather than choose and risk a mistake,
I attacked on two fronts.

Mornings, I considered
the world – rather, I mean, everything

not me. Afternoons, I considered
the strange knots of my self.

Evenings, I ate dinner.
After the snack shop I devoted

my time to reviewing
both earlier parts of my day. Sleep

gradually, then,
distracted even my careful pencil.